For big periods of time I didn’t write. Even after I began to accept the fact that God gave me the gift. I doubted my ability to come up with ideas, my ability to find an agent willing to work with me, my ability to get published, my ability to make a living at it and then there was the overwhelming apathy inspired by walking into the bookstore and seeing thousands of books on the shelf knowing that for every one there’s 100 more aspiring writers who want to be published. How could I have a chance? So I just wouldn’t write…at all. I discounted my dreams and sold them to the grind of daily life, routine and rationalization. I grew comfortably numb with the notion that having them is silly and youthful idealism.
The Truth I ignored was Faith. If God gave me the gift He would give me the ideas in which to exercise my gift. If He wanted me to find an agent and be published then He could make that happen too. I let my doubts of getting published drown me into doing nothing. But the purpose in exercising your gift is to glorify God. Getting published is what I wanted. It was all about me. Not God. Can’t I glorify God in the pursuit of my writing without getting published? My blogging glorifies Him, even if only 3 people read it. Picking my novel up after 5 years and asking Sandra to help me could glorify God. Working together in faith on a common goal brings us closer and makes our marriage stronger. My kids get to see us pursuing our dreams in faith in spite of the odds and I think that teaches them a valuable lesson on dreams, goals and faith.
And just moving passed the doubts and apathy into faith and action glorifies God. By me doing my part I am giving God the opportunity to do something super with my natural. Doing nothing is a lack of faith that discredits and dishonors God. “Stretch out your hand” Jesus told the crippled man. Could Jesus have healed the man without the man stretching out his hand? Sure He could. He healed a child from miles away. He healed two of my children. Stretching out his hand was the man taking some initiative, demonstrating faith, being obedient to the sound of Jesus’ voice.
So that’s what I’m doing. I am stretching out my hand. What about you?